My 3-week solo trip in a cozy culture
The Meaning of “Gezellig”
“Gezellig” – (heh-sell-ick) – a word at the heart of Dutch culture. There’s not an exact translation in English, but it loosely means “cozy”, “fun”, “pleasantly social.” It can describe a social and relaxed situation, or indicate belonging, time spent with loved ones, catching up with an old friend, or just the togetherness that gives people a warm feeling.
Solo visit to see my girl
In November 2024, I took a huge leap and booked a 3-week solo trip to the Netherlands to visit our daughter. She’d visited us in the U.S. in the summer, but I didn’t want another year to go by without seeing her.
There’s a difference between going on vacation and truly traveling. My purpose wasn’t to “get away.” It was to slow down, really experience the place as a local, and see it through her eyes after nearly two years of living there.
The day I arrived, she surprised me with a cozy crochet cover-up that I could use as a scarf – perfect for the chilly, grey days there!
Her boyfriend’s mom had made me a Dutch Apple Pie, and we ate it after dinner the first night, followed by assembling a Christmas Lego set around the table.
Tiny House Living
I stayed at her flat on the first night, then moved into a lovely Airbnb cottage nearby so I could enjoy my own space in her small town. It was truly “tiny house living” and I’m so glad I chose it over a hotel. It had everything I needed and was a 5-minute walk to the stores. It showed me how simplifying life in a small footprint truly opens space to enjoy nature and shared community spaces.
I set up my cozy work area at the window that overlooks the most quaint backyard at the peak of autumn colors.
One of the things that I really came to understand was how safe it is there, particularly in a small town. My Airbnb host invited me into his home next door for tea, and he even gave me the key to his house so I could use his washing machine even when he wasn’t there.
As a solo female traveler, I biked and walked around town very comfortably. I noticed children walking and using public trains independently—it’s just part of the culture. That level of trust and safety gave me a deep sense of peace and freedom I hadn’t realized I needed, and one that gave me comfort knowing our daughter lives there and experiences that on a daily basis.
Feeling Safe and at Home
This was my third trip here since she moved to attend university in January 2023. I’ve now experienced the Netherlands in winter, summer, and autumn.
It’s “gezellig”, and when you find a place and lifestyle that fits your personality and calms your nervous system, even though it took some time for us to adjust to her living so far away, we learned it’s okay for her to want to be there.
